If your writing always comes first, to the detriment of everything else, you might end up with a lot of words but few friends.

Writers are, after all, first and foremost human beings with rich and complicated lives. We have obligations, responsibilities, and relationships that need tending to.

But there are crucial times in a writer’s journey when a big thrust is required to move our books forward. Or, indeed, to finish them.

Here are the times I know I have to put my writing first:

1. When I’ve fallen out of love with my book and need to stir the spark again.
2. When I’m in the flow and riding a wave of creativity.
3. When I’m working on a particularly challenging or critical part of my book.
4. When I can feel the book beginning to sag, as is especially true in the middle.
4. When I’m nearing the finish and need, much like birthing, to give the final push.

When do you put your writing first?
And how willing are you at those times to put aside everything but the essentials to focus on your book?

Love to hear from you.

The word “Mentor” comes to us from The Odyssey. The goddess Athena assumes the guise of Mentor, thereby helping the Greek hero Telemachus on his heroic quest to spurn his mother’s suitors and find his father’s killers. Mentors are god-like creatures in disguise. And they serve to prepare you––the hero––to face the unknown adventure of writing your book.

By courageously taking up the call to write a book, we bring the gods and all of nature to our side. Commitment has power, as the mountaineer William Murray wrote:

“…there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.”

Your mentor may take the form of a wise teacher, but just as easily a dead ancestor or a potent totemic object. The main thing about a mentor is that they stand apart from the regular, everyday world. A mentor carries a deep spiritual energy and potency about them.

I’ve had mentors both inner, outer, real, tangible and of the spirit variety ever since I committed fully to the writing path. What about you?

Try this:

Make a list of people, living or dead, that feel like mentors to you. Hint: writers you admire make great mentors.

Do you know of significant object that holds spiritual significance for you. Could this also be a mentor? How?

Have you had a dream that is guiding and informing your path as a writer? What was it? How did it help you?

Fear holds us hostage. We sit down to write and end up wasting hours on Facebook. We blame ourselves for being lazy and inept. In worse case scenarios, we just give up and stop pursuing our writing dreams.

But while fear is part of the writing process–-don’t we all worry about writing well enough, having something to say, getting stomped on by naysayers?-–it doesn’t have to stop you.

Here are five ways you can keep writing, no matter how afraid you are.

1. Make a writing date with a friend. Call each other up, set the clock for 10, 20, or 30 minute increments, and just write like crazy.

2. Use the energy that comes from fear and channel it onto the page.

3. Create your book cover complete with endorsements from all your favorite writers. Whenever you waver, take it out and look at it.

4. Set bite-sized writing goals. Don’t think: I have to write a chapter; think: I have to write a sentence, a paragraph, a few paragraphs.

5. Show up for your writing consistently. Nothing banishes fear like regularly looking it in the face and saying, “I see you. But you’re not stopping me.”

What about you? How do you write through the fear?

Last night I heard US Supreme Court Judge Sonia Sotomayor talking about her latest book, My Beloved World. Her amazing journey took her from the housing projects in the Bronx to the highest halls of justice. She didn’t have it easy. She learned early to take responsibility for herself.

What she did have was a grandmother who loved her unconditionally. She had someone, excuse the pun, who was in her court.

If you’re going to complete your book, you’re going to need at least one ally in your court as well. Someone who will believe in you and your idea when you doubt yourself. Ideally, you’ll have more than one ally.

Having help, advice, community, and support is essential if you’re going to take your book from concept to completion.

My list includes:

My writing groups (one meets every week, two others once or twice a year)
My husband (he listens to my fears and loves me through them)
My publisher (he loved my first book and has accepted my second)
My agent (she believed in my unique blend of ecology and spirituality from the start)
A handful of very good friends, some old and some new (they make me laugh and keep me honest)
A connection to spirit (which guides my writing and helps me keep the faith).

So who do you have in your court?

I discovered the following list of writing “Strengths” and “Growing Edges” leafing through a 2009 journal.

Strengths:
I write every day
I am willing to keep working at a piece for as long as it takes
My writing is poetic and inspiring
I am an original thinker
I am 100% committed to earning my living as a writer, teacher, and speaker

Growing Edges:
I want to be more free and spontaneous in my writing
I want to trust my wise inner voice more
I need to learn when to let go
I want to know more readily which words to leave in and take out
I want to become even more authentic and original as a writer

Knowing my assets and my challenges as a writer has helped me to develop my voice, put my words into the world, and stand ever more confidently in the work that I do. More than anything, it’s given me compassion for the journey that I am on.

Being a writer isn’t just about placing words on paper, it’s about leaning into the courage and the wisdom we need to give our words power. And that’s no small thing.

My bet is that if you took a moment to write your own lists, you’d discover insights that could help you to write more authentically and with less angst! I’d love you to share them here.

And, if you want to take another step toward forward in your writer’s journey, if you really want to step into your particular strength and genius, please join me for my Write the Damn Book! workshop, March 16-17, Novato, CA.

I am always, and still, looking to get closer to my truth and to write more spontaneously. I imagine you are too.

My New Year resolution is less time on Facebook and Twitter. And, even it it seems like a good way to sell more books, I think I’m going to forgo Pinterest. Why? Because social media is driving me to distraction.

I don’t just have less time to write, I also find that I lose the calm and clarity I need to be able to write from my core. Social media jacks me up, a little like too much caffeine.

Does that mean I’m giving up on social media altogether? No. It’s a wonderful way to stay in touch. I belong to groups that I really value.

But if I want to write from that calm, still, knowing place, I’m going to have to limit my social media time. Distraction is addiction, for me. I lose my center, become superficial in my thoughts.

I think of writers from times past: no television, no computers, no texting. Anthony Trollope was Post Master General, and wrote scores of thickly paged novels that covered everything from British politics to the Church of England. Virginia Woolf wanted a room of her own, not a thousand Facebook friends. And Jane Austen delighted us not by posting witticism on Twitter but by pouring her creativity into her novels. It’s dissipation of creative energy that I fear most.

Are you being driven to distraction by social media, too? Or does it actually aid your creativity? Love for you to share you insights as we learn to be writers in this multi-media world.

I keep receiving emails about writing a book in 90 days or over a weekend. This quickly conceived and written book, I am told, will earn me hundreds and thousands of dollars. While I sit at my computer, the clock is ticking. Money is slipping through my hands because I do not have a book. And, according to these book experts, I can have one in just a few weeks.

So why do these mailings disturb me?

Sure, you can write a book in 90 days. Some people have written one in 30 days. But writing a substantial book to me is something else. It’s a sacred experience, a profound and life-changing journey, and if you just view it as a race to the finish line, then I believe you’re missing out on the 10 main reasons to write a book.

1. By staying curious and open in the process of writing your book, you will stumble on deeper and greater truths. This may slow you down, but it will also make you a wiser person and better teacher.
2. There are always many ways to express an idea, but finding the one that really speaks to your audience can take time. I think it’s worth the time.
3. There are so many books out there, just putting one more into the mix doesn’t seem that important. Creating a book that has something new to say can take quite a bit of digging and exploration, but it will allow you to offer something real, and valuable, and unique.
4. Writing is a creative art, and creativity is chaotic. While deadlines and commitment are important, if you don’t allow yourself to follow the unexpected paths that emerge, you’re missing the magic.
5. Challenging yourself to write the very best book possible honors your readers’ time.
6. Forcing the creative process into a linear, production-line format will produce more books, but less value.
7. Writing, at its best, is a spiritual path. If writing your book didn’t change you, then how will your book change others?
8. We live in a world of superficiality and endless chatter. Having a book shouldn’t be as easy as having a business card. It should stand for the very best of you.
9. Making big money from a book can happen, but it won’t happen overnight. If you’re writing a book just to get rich, you’re on the wrong track. Write it to become rich in knowledge, wisdom, and artistry.
10. We live in critical times. The wisdom we have inside of us is desperately needed. While we don’t want to take forever to write a book, isn’t it worth making a book more than just another item on your marketing checklist?

If you can achieve the above in record time–more power to you. But if not, you might just want to take a breath and slow it down!

So why are you writing your book? Or why did you write your book? And how long is it taking (or did it take)?

And don’t miss out on the early bird special for my Write the Damn Book Workshop, March 16 and 17, in Novato, California. For more information, and to register, please go to my Write the Damn Book website. Or email me at info@writethedamnbook.com.

The secret of artists, writers, and other creative people throughout millennia––whether they are conscious of it or not––is that they know how to collaborate with chaos. Yet, oftentimes it is the very presence of chaos and confusion that leads to fear of failure and instills resistance in us at the very beginning of the creative process. The most oft-cited characteristic of creative people (aside from popularly being thought of as slightly crazy) is their ability to remain open during the rain of uncertainty, to embrace the difficult states of paradox, opposition, and ambiguity that are the gateways of opportunity. Jack Myers

The fact is that within any system of nature, there exists something called, “the strange attractor effect.” It’s akin to that moment in the creative process when we sense something trying to form out of the chaos. Chaos is the feeding ground for the emergence of regular, self-forming, coherent patterning. In other words, form and structure arise naturally from chaos.

So what’s the writer’s job? It’s to be with the chaos until we can find the shape in it. And this, my writing friends, is exactly the point at which many would-be writers throw in the towel. They think, “I can’t stand this confusion a minute longer; it’ll never make sense.”

When at work on a particularly tricky piece, I visit it daily, but only for a few moments. Each time I visit, I jot down anything I sense emerging. Often it’s just fragments, but by staying with the piece and not allowing myself to be overwhelmed by the “not knowing,” the “knowing” becomes clearer and clearer. I am no longer spinning in a whirlpool of possibilities; suddenly, and quite mysteriously, it all makes sense.

How do you navigate the chaos of writing to find your emerging themes?

It’s easy to fall into the trap of playing it safe when we write. We want people to like us and our work. Yet by watering down our beliefs or experiences, we often leave out the vital details that bring our writing alive. If you want to write well, you have to get real. And that goes for fiction writers, too.

So how do we know when we’re writing from a place of deep truth––or not?

Are You:
• Writing in generalities?
• Skimming the surface?
• Not taking time to go deep?
• Using humor inappropriately?
• Worrying about what others will think of you?

If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, you’re probably still stuck playing it safe.

Are you:
• Finding your heart beats faster as you write?
• Discovering more about yourself and what you believe?
• Becoming uncomfortable and downright scared in places?
• Experiencing a sense of excitement, as if you were engaged in an adventure?
• Feeling as if you’re channeling?

If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, you’re writing with courage and honesty. Congratulations!

How do we cultivate a state of readiness for writing, even when the doorbell announces guests or our least favorite aunt descends upon us for the weekend? Below are some of the ways I’ve learned to write regularly, no matter what else is going on in my life. These are just my ways; please feel free to share your habits and advice on what keeps you writing amid the eye of the storm.

1. Before I got to bed each night I visualize what I want to work on the next day. I see myself sitting down with my journal or at my computer and imagine myself writing. I also plant the seed of the idea I want to work on in my head, knowing much of the work will be done while I sleep.

2. I write early each morning. That way, whatever else comes down the pipeline I’ve written for at least 20 minutes.

3. I say “No” to a lot more people and activities than I used to. Writing is a priority in my life.

4. I walk in nature almost every day. I use this time to think about my writing and often bring a digital recorder with me to capture ideas or a train of thought.

5. I have a weekly writer’s group that forces me to produce at least three pages of written work a week. Think about it–at a bare minimum that’s 150 pages a year.

6. I create blocks of writing time in my day-book. These are non-negotiable commitments to write. Unless there’s a genuine emergency, I will dedicate that time to writing.

7. I cultivate friendships with those who recognize the importance of writing in my life and who support this endeavor.

8. I am honest with myself––there is always time to do what I love. If I’m not writing, it’s not because I don’t have the time to write, it’s because I’m not making it a priority.

9. It took me several years of trial and error to realize that the more I write the more I want to write. I let myself write garbage if that’s all I can produce on a given day. And I always find a nugget of something in there. (The moral: Write until you want to write.)

10. I have found mornings are my best time to write. Find your “best time(s)” and show up no matter what. The more you show up for your writing, the more your writing will show up for you.